从孩子出生的那一天起，你的世界就发生了变化。不可避免的，孩子就成为了你生命中的一部分。她的占比可以很大，也可以很小，但你无法忽视她的存在。对于母亲来说，承担的责任、消耗的精力以及付出的时间都会远远大于父亲。
在23年的时候，有一部电影《消失的她》。结局导演安排被害的女人肚子里有一个胎儿。我当时跟妻子说，我很不喜欢这种强行的设定，一个女人的价值、生命的意义无需用孩子来去衡量或者升华。一年半时间过去了，当我自己有了孩子以后，尤其还是女儿时，我发现我需要推翻自己的当初的言论。一个女人可以很伟大，生命可以很有意义，但是如果她有孩子一定会是一件非常重要非常重要的事情。生养小孩都会让她更加伟大。
女性新中国成立这么多年来，地位是很高的。但是最近有一些很不好的趋势，也是我担心自己女儿的未来。首先是国内经济增长停滞。当整个社会蛋糕无法做大时，人和人之间的博弈往往会更加剧烈。而此时，男性会比女性更占优势。日本就是一个很好的例子。当中国无可避免的在走日本的老路时，可以发现，日本女性的地位在过去三十年是下降的。年轻女性在无法获取增量蛋糕时，往往会更依靠男性。
其次是男女对立情绪的高涨。无论是国内还是国外，这种趋势都很明显。国内的有些女权带有某种女性特权的味道，已经引起很多男性的不满。无论是B站还是知乎这些男性向的论坛、还是消费品的转移变化、亦或者影视剧的选择评价都有明显的趋势。国外就更明显了，搞政治正确的团体遭到唾弃，右翼甚至极右翼保守思潮席卷全球。美国甚至有的地方连女性堕胎权都保不住了。
再次是不稳定的环境。改革开放这四十年，是中国历史上最好的四十年。但你不能希望这四十年再来一次。世界历史告诉我们，承平日久是少数，战争动乱才是多数。虽然无法想象动乱年代会如何到来，但是这几年，世界上越来越多的局部战争可能会导致更多的骚乱。我希望台湾可以和平解决，我也希望政治权力能够平稳交接。
最后是教育和价值观的错位。AI的出现可能会创造一些工作岗位，但应该会消除更多的办公室岗位。反倒是体力劳动者目前看影响最小。这意味着，我们不需要这么多高等教育。除非你是最top的1%。中国目前60%的新增就业都集中在零售、餐饮、物流、保安、保洁这些领域，未来只会更多。文体行业也很拉跨，制造业本来就不行，金融是被打压的对象。而且现在都是独生子女，都是被夸赞捧在手心里，望子成龙风气甚嚣尘上。年轻人承受压力和被输出的价值观可能会和他以后面对的现实截然不同。
朝气蓬勃的老年人，暮气沉沉的年轻人，半死不活的中年人。
这个可能就是现在时代的缩影，也是未来时代的缩影。
在这个时代，我们要养育好孩子，但更要养育好自己。一代人会有一代人的命运。毕竟，历史上大多数存在的人，都不会留下后代。
From the moment a child is born, your world changes. Inevitably, the child becomes a part of your life. Her presence can be significant or small, but you cannot ignore her existence. For mothers, the responsibilities, energy consumption, and time invested are far greater than for fathers.
In 2023, there was a movie titled The Vanishing Woman. In the ending, the director arranged for the victimized woman to be pregnant. I told my wife at the time that I didn’t like this forced narrative, that a woman’s value and the meaning of life should not be measured or elevated by having a child. A year and a half later, after having a child of my own, especially a daughter, I realized I needed to revise my earlier statement. A woman can be great, and life can be meaningful, but having children will undoubtedly be a very important thing for her. Raising children only makes her greater.
Since the founding of New China, women’s status has been very high. However, recently, there have been some worrying trends, which make me concerned about my daughter’s future. First, the domestic economic growth is stagnating. When the social pie can’t grow, the competition between people tends to intensify. In this case, men generally have an advantage over women. Japan is a good example. As China inevitably follows Japan’s path, it becomes apparent that the status of Japanese women has declined over the past thirty years. Young women, unable to gain new opportunities, often rely more on men.
Second, there is an increasing sentiment of gender opposition. This trend is evident both domestically and internationally. Some forms of feminism in China carry an air of female privilege, which has sparked dissatisfaction among many men. Whether on male-oriented platforms like Bilibili or Zhihu, in the shifts in consumer goods, or in the choice and evaluation of TV shows and movies, a clear trend is emerging. This is even more evident abroad, where politically correct groups face backlash, and right-wing or even far-right conservative ideologies are sweeping the world. In some places in the U.S., women’s right to abortion is even being taken away.
Third, the environment is unstable. The past forty years of reform and opening up have been the best in Chinese history. But we cannot expect this period to repeat. History tells us that prolonged peace is rare; wars and turmoil are more common. Although it’s hard to imagine how times of chaos will come, in recent years, local wars around the world are likely to lead to more unrest. I hope the Taiwan issue can be resolved peacefully, and I also hope political power transitions can be smooth.
Lastly, there is a misalignment in education and values. The rise of AI may create some jobs, but it is expected to eliminate more office jobs. In contrast, manual labor is currently the least impacted. This means we no longer need as much higher education unless you are among the top 1%. Currently, 60% of new employment in China is concentrated in retail, catering, logistics, security, and cleaning, and this will only increase. The cultural and sports industries are also struggling, the manufacturing industry is already weak, and finance is being suppressed. Moreover, with the one-child policy, children are highly praised and pampered, with a widespread desire for sons to succeed. The pressure on young people and the values they are taught may be at odds with the realities they will face later.
Vibrant elderly people, lethargic young people, and half-dead middle-aged people.
This may be a snapshot of the current era and also a glimpse into the future.
In this age, we must nurture our children well, but we must also nurture ourselves. Each generation has its own destiny. After all, most of the people who have existed in history have not left descendants.